April 21st, 2005

Tactical Retreat: Massage therapy business.

I've been doing some of the ever-dreaded Inner Work lately, and one of the things I discovered is that I really, really, *really* want to have a period of stability for a while. A nice chunk of time where my life is moderately predictable, in which I can rest and regroup from the last several months. I am at the edge of my margin in almost all resources: financial, emotional, and physical. Being on the edge of poverty is being particularly problematic right now, since there are continuing care expenses which I'm not going to be able to avoid for the next few years.

I looked at my life, and I realized that now is *not* the time to be trying to launch a new business. Even if I like and respect the chiropractor I'm working with, even if I'm fairly confident she could single-handedly have my business up to capacity in a relatively short period of time. First of all, launching a business comes with no guarantees. Second, self-employment relies almost entirely on my strength of will and personal initiative, which are not currently at their highest ebb.

I figured this out at least a week ago, actually, but wasn't dealing with it because it felt like a defeat; like giving up on a dream that I've worked hard to make reality, and that others have worked hard to help me create. As long as it smelled like quitting when things got hard, I couldn't make myself accept it as a plan.

But then I began realizing things. First of all, I don't have to stop doing bodywork in the interim. I can set up a couple nights a week that I continue to work on friends and current clients. I just do it for its own sake, and remove the burden of making it support me financially.

Second, the lessons I learned from last year's attempt at launching the business aren't going to go away. Some of my skills will be less well-honed than they would be if I were working full-time. But a fair bit of what my hands learned will stay with me, and I have a much better understanding about the business model I need to use next time around.

Third, if in the next few years I take a year for prerequisite courses and a year to get my bachelor's in nursing, then the next time I come at the massage therapy, I will have three advantages. First, being a nurse *and* a massage therapist gives a legitimacy that massage therapy alone is hard put to possess. Second, I can work part-time in nursing while I'm launching the business, and that is *much* more lucrative than my current coffee house job. And third, I will probably have access to client bases I might not otherwise been able to reach.

So, now I can see this as a tactical retreat, not a defeat.

This means I'm now job hunting, so if any of you know of clerical or administrative jobs that I might be a good match for, let me know.

Meme parade.

Comment here with your name and I'll tell you something I adore (or at least mildly like) about you. Afterwards, copy and paste this into your own journal.

For those of you I don't know particularly well, I will either a) give it my best shot, or b) come up with something hopefully both bizarre and amusing.