July 10th, 2005

Realization.

If you're not interested in Tracy's Inner World, don't click Collapse )</lj-cut). So, recent events have given me a little insight into one of the relationship issues I need to work on. I've discovered that when I seriously consider dating people who have real potential, and could hold their own with me in a relationship of equals, I have a massive attack of "I am not worthy" insecurity. So either I need to a) figure out some tools for connecting myself with the reality of my own niftiness during this critical period, or b) date people who have ability and willingness to give me an emotionaly veracious reality check as to my own worth when the insecurity attacks happen. Eep. Which means, what joy, that I may get the wonder of being honest and vulnerable and asking for help from the people I date right near the beginning. Which might be a good thing, but is really intimidating.